Split Decision: I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum

Welcome to Split Decision! Each week, Ryan will pose a question to our staff of knowledgable and passionate film lovers and share the responses. Chime in on Twitter, Facebook, our Instagram, or in the comments below.

This week’s question:

In honor of Bottle Rocket’s 25th anniversary, who is your favorite character in any Wes Anderson movie?

There’s so many Wes Anderson characters I relate to, especially Mr. Fox of Fantastic Mr. Fox and Zero from The Grand Budapest Hotel. But in my heart of hearts, I have to give it up for Suzy Bishop (Kara Hayward) and Sam Shakusky (Jared Gilman) from Moonrise Kingdom. What could be more romantic than absconding off into the wilderness with your love, some books, a record player, and some camping gear?
–Ryan Silberstein, The Red Herring

No other Wes Anderson character makes me laugh out loud as much as Royal Tenenbaum. And even though Henry Sherman has it right by saying that Royal's not an asshole, he's just kind of a son of a bitch, he's still my favorite character from a pure entertainment standpoint. It seems like it's a different line of his that makes me laugh each time I watch that movie. My most recent favorite:

Royal: Richie, this illness, this closeness to death...has had a profound effect on me. I feel like a different person. I really do.

Richie: Dad, you were never dying.

Royal: ...but I'm gonna live. –Matt McCafferty, Staff Writer

While I hate to celebrate Gene Hackman’s dickery... Royal Tenenbaum is one of the finest dicks ever created. He’s an agent of chaos and doesn’t fit the mold of a “Wes Anderson Character.” He doesn’t whisper or stare off into the middle distance. He’s not whimsical. He’s not impish. He’s just a dick. And that’s great.

Special honor goes to Pagoda, because Royal is nothing without Pagoda.-Jenna Kuerzi, Staff Writer

Margot Tenanbaum. That level of unapologetic nihilism and style is simply unparalleled. - Liz Wiest, Contributor

Did I look over at my collection of Wes Anderson Criterions and say, to myself and no one else, “it’s my time to shine, weird Texas daddy” when I saw the email come in for this one? I can neither confirm nor deny that. However! Probably my favorite Anderson character is Ash Fox from Fantastic Mr. Fox. I connected to him so deeply as the kid in the group (friend or family, didn’t matter) who always felt like a second fiddle. The anger and bottled up emotions are so authentic and come out in really honest ways. Plus, he’s a precious dork with a sock on his head. Love that little goof. –Emily Maesar, Staff Writer

Over the years Wes Anderson has introduced me to so many charismatic, amusing and original characters. However, the one that I often want to spend time with is none other than, M. Gustave. I have yet to find a flaw with The Grand Budapest Hotel and that is all due to M. Gustave's devotion to his work. To have someone like M. Gustave that is willing to take your secrets to the grave, is a true friend and one of my favorite movie pals.  –Rosalie Kicks, Old Sport

I admittedly have a complicated relationship with Wes Anderson because too many boys from my high school have tried to convince me that he’s the best thing to happen to film. That being said, Seu Jorge’s David Bowie covers on The Life Aquatic got me through Portuguese I and II in college so I’m going with Pelé Dos Santos. –Matt Crump, Staff Writer

Wish I could break the trend, but I also have to go with a Royal Tenenbaums character. I’ve always loved Owen Wilson’s Eli Cash. Everything about him is so specific, down to the paintings on his walls, and it all combines into a perfect portrait of a guy who actually found some success but couldn’t let go of his impossible childhood ambition to be part of a, to his mind, legendary family. Owen Wilson is so much funnier and just generally better than the parts he got after he blew up as a member of the, ugh, Frat Pack, and you watch him here and wish he was still co-writing Anderson’s films. He just didn’t have as much to do with Drillbit Taylor or You, Me and Dupree or whatever. His fake Charlie Rose interview is the funniest part of Anderson’s funniest movie and he’s the one character you wish Wilson and Anderson would revisit in a future film. - Alex Rudolph. –Alex Rudolph, Staff Writer

Every Wes Anderson character is so specifically, delightfully weird that it feels almost impossible to pick one favorite. But Danny Glover’s Henry Sherman is all of us if we had to deal with the Tenenbaums in real life–amused, frustrated, in love with Anjelica Huston. Etheline’s calm, composed and well-dressed accountant may not be the most iconic character in The Royal Tenenbaums, but he’s the only one who can see through Royal’s schemes and the heart of the movie. Today, I’ll have to go with Henry Sherman. –Ryan Smillie, Staff Writer

I relate to so much of Max Fischer, although I never wrote a hit play. I did get to go to my own version of Rushmore, which was a two-week art camp, on a full scholarship. I had to get my grades up to go and it was torture. 

Max and I, we hate homework. We're petty. We harbor grudges. We have some talent, just not nearly as much as we believe we do.

 –Billy Russell, Staff Writer