Directed by Jan de Bont
Written by Graham Yost, Jan de Bont and Randall McCormick
Starring Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric and Willem Dafoe
Runtime: 2 hours and 1 minute
Rated R

by Matt McCafferty, Staff Writer

I first saw Speed 2: Cruise Control on New Year’s Eve in 1997, the year it was released. It was my family’s tradition for years to make a bunch of food and rent a movie for the night. I was twelve years old at the time and Speed was one of my favorite movies. I wrote about my love for Speed last summer during our favorite blockbusters countdown. As you can imagine, I was pretty excited to watch its sequel that night. Thinking back on it, I’m pretty sure I was the one who convinced my family that this movie would be the best pick for the night. I was young and mostly unaware of the notion that sequels generally don’t live up to their originals. I mean, Speed 2 had to be bigger, better and…speedier than the first one, right? Twenty five years later, I barely have any memory of what I watched that night. Willem Dafoe’s character and his use of leeches is the only thing that slightly stands out. Other than that, I just remember being disappointed by the fact that it was nothing like its predecessor.

On the 25th anniversary of its release, I thought it might be worth revisiting. Although its reputation hasn’t improved over the years, sometimes you never know with these things. Maybe Willem Dafoe carries this thing to the point of being watchable. Maybe the action is exciting enough to make for an entertaining watch at the end of a long weekend. Unfortunately, Speed 2 remains a bust. I’m just as annoyed by it now at 37 years old as I was when I last saw it on New Year’s eve in 1997. I can already feel my brain trying to erase the memory of it just as I did when I was 12.

Sandra Bullock recently told TooFab this is the one movie she wished she hadn’t done. Her admission should probably be enough to convince you to stay away from this movie. After getting $500,000 for the first film, she was given $11 million to come back for this one. So from that perspective, it’s hard to blame her for giving it a go. Unfortunately, her character is poorly written with little to do in a story that doesn’t have much purpose. As much as I try to steer clear of writing entirely negative reviews, I’m not sure I can come up with many positive things to say. The action sequences don’t look terrible. And Willem Dafoe is fairly entertaining from time to time. That’s about it though.

This movie constantly works hard to remind its audience that it’s watching the sequel to Speed (a little more on this in a minute). Instead of a bus, we get a boat. Willem Dafoe stands in for Dennis Hopper as the out-of-his-mind villain. Dafoe plays a hacker named Geiger who takes over a cruise ship, setting it on a collision course with a giant oil tanker anchored at the island of St. Martin. Sandra Bullock returns as Annie. This time, she’s on vacation with her boyfriend, Alex Shaw (Jason Patric), an LAPD officer who is basically a cloned character of Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves). Alex of course steps into action when the ship comes under attack as Geiger sets his plan into motion.

As I mentioned earlier, Bullock really isn’t given much to do in this one. While her misuse is a mistake, the absence of Keanu Reeves is just as noticeable. He smartly turned the role down after reading the script. The chemistry between Reeves and Bullock certainly would have injected some life into this thing. Jason Patric just looks completely bored most of the time. I’m not saying Keanu could have saved Speed 2 from its many issues. It’s not like he is the sole reason why Speed is so good. But as we’ve now seen over the years in his other big franchises (The Matrix, John Wick and Bill & Ted), he brings something special to these sequels that helps them become more than just cash grabs.

I mentioned earlier how this movie is constantly reminding you that you are watching a Speed sequel. For some reason, these little reminders annoyed me more than anything else. That’s saying a lot really. The script is horrible, the acting is bad and it generally feels like there is no reason this movie should exist. But it was the constant attempts to connect to the first film that drove me nuts. Annie can’t pass her driver’s test because she’s too reckless behind the wheel. Alex is a daredevil in the LAPD just like Jack. Geiger is a madman just like Payne. They also constantly reference this line from the first film: “Relationships based on extreme circumstances never work out.” That one felt so forced and desperately out of place whenever it was thrown into the dialogue. We get a couple cameos from minor characters from the first film who do and say the same things here. Hell, Alex even goes under the ship to pull off a dangerous stunt just as Jack did with the bus. All of these things are shoved in your face in an attempt to distract you from the fact that this is nothing more than a bad action movie.